>> it’s incomprehensible that in other countries people just wipe and…hope for the best.
Well ... I don't have a bidet but doesn't mean I don't wash my buttocks after doing business. Unfortunately it's a bit of a taboo subject so it's not discussed, not taught in school / hygiene classes, just let it be.
Best example I heard from someone is this: imagine you dip your hands in Nutella. Then try to clean them just wiping with toilet paper, for more authenticity, without looking. Then look at the result, that's your ass, good thing you got underpants! Compare that with washing with soap and water!
So how do I do it?
- First step it to use wet toilet paper. I can't stand raw toilet paper, it scratches my hemorrhoids, so I pre-soak it in water from the tap if available or just water I keep in my mouth if in a public place / at work. I hate public places for this matter. This way it's much gentler for the tushy, it also pre-washes the area and third advantage, it's much less likely to clog the toilet when I flush, being already soaked.
- So after the first step I'm closer to washing Nutella than wiping it. If in a public place, that's the best I got. If at home, next step is wash my butt with soap and water in a plastic bucket. There, that's your bidet! For 2 bucks, you too can get one! :) Sure, you have to squat and not wear any pants, but you're in your own freaking bathroom. Dry with paper towels which you throw in a bucket. Plus, comes the third step anyway and you won't be wearing any clothes for that.
- Third step is taking a quick shower. At this point you won't be leaving a trail of poo into the shower drain or bath tub (I shower in the bath tub) but still get to clean your general areas that were in contact with the toilet, hence e-coli and sh*t (no pun intended), plus shower feels good.
So there's that: my overly complicated toilet routine that takes some 3 minutes extra after finishing with the toilet proper, which leaves me perfectly adequate for entering a pool. Unfortunately I also know that 99.98% of the population entering said pool has their Nutella butt washed for the first time in said pool, so no pools for me if I can avoid it.
> just water I keep in my mouth if in a public place / at work
Sorry for intruding, but the water from some public place is the last thing I want in my or anyone else's mouth. May I suggest a water bottle or even a flask?
Or if you already tried that, can you explain why it didn't work for you? Just an idle curiosity. Thanks in advance.
I interpreted this to mean he holds clean water (e.g. from a bottle) in his mouth when entering the toilet, for the purpose of wetting toilet paper. A clever solution, IMO.
No, this is exactly the problem: "we mustn't speak of buttholes, it is preferable that we all continue sub-par hygiene practices because it's TABBOOOOOOO"
Well ... I don't have a bidet but doesn't mean I don't wash my buttocks after doing business. Unfortunately it's a bit of a taboo subject so it's not discussed, not taught in school / hygiene classes, just let it be.
Best example I heard from someone is this: imagine you dip your hands in Nutella. Then try to clean them just wiping with toilet paper, for more authenticity, without looking. Then look at the result, that's your ass, good thing you got underpants! Compare that with washing with soap and water!
So how do I do it?
- First step it to use wet toilet paper. I can't stand raw toilet paper, it scratches my hemorrhoids, so I pre-soak it in water from the tap if available or just water I keep in my mouth if in a public place / at work. I hate public places for this matter. This way it's much gentler for the tushy, it also pre-washes the area and third advantage, it's much less likely to clog the toilet when I flush, being already soaked.
- So after the first step I'm closer to washing Nutella than wiping it. If in a public place, that's the best I got. If at home, next step is wash my butt with soap and water in a plastic bucket. There, that's your bidet! For 2 bucks, you too can get one! :) Sure, you have to squat and not wear any pants, but you're in your own freaking bathroom. Dry with paper towels which you throw in a bucket. Plus, comes the third step anyway and you won't be wearing any clothes for that.
- Third step is taking a quick shower. At this point you won't be leaving a trail of poo into the shower drain or bath tub (I shower in the bath tub) but still get to clean your general areas that were in contact with the toilet, hence e-coli and sh*t (no pun intended), plus shower feels good.
So there's that: my overly complicated toilet routine that takes some 3 minutes extra after finishing with the toilet proper, which leaves me perfectly adequate for entering a pool. Unfortunately I also know that 99.98% of the population entering said pool has their Nutella butt washed for the first time in said pool, so no pools for me if I can avoid it.