Dude; how can you say you are a failure in your early 30s? You have just finished being a kid and learned to navigate the adult work. You still haven't done anything worthwhile, and you're about to start. You have just finished the tutorial to life, and now are facing the question of now what?
Sincerely, a late 30s guy that has been through a massive burnout, mid life crisis and journey to discover myself in the past 5 years.
Millions of people have been through the same in the whole of history. Many have left notes about their experience for posterity. Time to hit the library, my friend.
(The things that have helped the most have been, in no order: talk therapy, solitude, the Tao Te Ching, Alan Watts, Camus, Nietzsche, and many more, rediscovering my long lost teenage dreams, understanding that nature is a crucial part to mental sanity and restoration)
Really ironically all of life up until 30 is kind of following a general script that's handed to you. And that kind of lets you get out of your own head, in a lot of ways. Then when you're ~30 and you have skills, you have some resources, and you understand pitfalls of life... there isn't much more of a set script left except the wife + kids + white picket fence script. And it takes some effort to figure out how/what your autobiographical script will be. (writing this as a 32 year old who hasn't figured it out)
Vigorously seconding this as an enby in xir early 40s who's only just figuring a lot of shit out and still has so very much left to go. So much left to discovery and explore about xirselves, too.
Seconding that entire list of recommendations, as well. Xe haven't really touched the Tao Te Ching specifically but, speaking as a secular materialist post-theist, tarot and oracle decks have served xe incredibly well as introspective tools. Consider the Oblique Strategies deck if you want to sample a similar experience.
I think it’s relevant because, stereotypically, men and women tend to display them differently. I’m curious how it would present in a non binary manner - perhaps that would be the most “true” of them, breaking free of norms?
Indeed. Only cracked xir enby trans egg shortly before hitting thirty.
But xir midlife crisis had far more to do with an abusive ex, "normative" but foolish financial choices, and other mental health issues.
The gender matters were and continue to ground xe more than not: They're an undeniable, celebration-worthy facet of xir identity and a regular source of joy. Gender euphoria is a thing! If you're cisgender but have found deep affirmation in an especially gendered outfit (e.g. a tuxedo or cocktail dress) then you've had a taste of what it's like to go beyond your baseline gender contentment. Hope that helps!
Alexander the Great inherited most of his success from his father. Although a competent and ambitious commander, he would have been a nobody if his daddy hadn’t been Mr. big shot.
And yet most people who inherited the same as he did would have done nothing of note with it and faded into obscurity. Like most of the Macedonian kings before and not long after.
Many people have inherited great power and wealth and squandered it. That's the default case.
Philip inherited too. He built on his father's very considerable success, just like Alexander built on his father's.
Amyntas III -> Philip II -> Alexander III
They're a dynastic set. There's not a lot of sense in separating and comparing them.
But in terms of lasting impact, it's not even close. Philip II exerted control over Greece for a brief time but didn't change much. Alexander changed the entire world permanently.
> Alexander the Great conquered the world by the age of 18 or whatever
He was also, by all accounts, a twat. He killed his friends in bouts of rage. He was a brilliant strategist, but he did not really build anything that lasted. Some slivers of his empire survived, but not because of his actions. He might have lived the life he wanted, we will never know for sure. But I would much rather live the life I have, however imperfect it might be.
> Am I a better man than him?
Are you happy? Do you make other people happy? Do you support or help other people when they need, or side by them when they want? Those are more important metrics than the surface area conquered at the cost of tremendous suffering.
We remember people for their accomplishments, not because they were good as human beings.
I can accept that, depending on where you put the limit between tactics and strategy. He was good at wining battles and campaigns. He was bad at picking people to run the countries afterwards.
1. He never lost a battle and conquered more territory than anyone in history, all while leading from the front. He's considered the greatest military leader in history by most every other great military leader in history (are you a better judge?)
2. Many of the Diadochi (his bros) went on to great success, and he picked all of them.
People love to be contrarian but it can get ridiculous. Claiming that Alexander the great wasn't actually so great is just boring.
Maybe not, but it's okay to not be the very best, and it's okay to fail. And it's especially okay when comparing ourselves to one of the few dozen names from before the Julian calendar that everyone still remembers to this day!
You're in good company, because the other ~100% of us are also imperfect and make mistakes all the time.
And here you have your first true quest: questioning the meaning and value of comparison.
Life is not a race. There is no prize at the end. In a long enough timeline, nobody will remember you, nor Alexander the Great. What is the point then of your life? What is your goal?
Sincerely, a late 30s guy that has been through a massive burnout, mid life crisis and journey to discover myself in the past 5 years.
Millions of people have been through the same in the whole of history. Many have left notes about their experience for posterity. Time to hit the library, my friend.
(The things that have helped the most have been, in no order: talk therapy, solitude, the Tao Te Ching, Alan Watts, Camus, Nietzsche, and many more, rediscovering my long lost teenage dreams, understanding that nature is a crucial part to mental sanity and restoration)
Take care, and good luck.