I'm in my late 30s and live in California. My health has been on a downward spiral for the last six years. I have severe musculoskeletal chronic pain throughout my body, particularly around the cervical spine, shoulders, and hips.
This physical pain makes concentration extremely difficult. It has become so challenging that I quit my software engineering job of 10 years a couple of months ago due to my inability to focus on the work required.
Severe chronic pain is probably similar to severe ADHD in terms of how it affects productivity, except that attention loss is caused by your body constantly sending pain signals. There are no drugs that I have found to help, at least not ones that don't cause significant harm to the body in other ways, such as opioids.
Unlike ADHD, severe chronic pain is not legally considered for disability, despite its impact on effectively performing jobs that require deep concentration or physical labor. I can still move, my range of motion is good, and my mental faculties are normal, except for the aforementioned ability to concentrate. It's just that I'm in constant physical pain. The U.S. government doesn't consider any of this as qualifying for disability.
I'm currently unemployed with state insurance, but the insurance is more for catastrophic accident coverage (car accidents, etc.) than for helping me with my chronic pain. When I had private insurance, I was never able to get proper treatment despite trying for years, and all it amounted to was enormous medical debt. I could probably find an engineering job, but I fear I would have the same problem of not being able to concentrate with the pain I'm in, despite how much I love programming. It's hard to be around people when you're in constant physical pain. I feel like I have a miasma around me, and I don't want to spread that to others, so I feel I'm better off alone. Previously, I would just hide my emotions at work and pretend everything was great, but the pain has reached a point now where I can't continue to do that (the pain causes me to physically grimace during web meetings sometimes). I'm spending my time now improving my engineering skills (React, Vue, etc.) and doing contract work; it's just an uphill battle with the pain.
I'm honestly unsure about what path to take in life. It's a terribly tragic thing when the physical human body gives up despite the mind and soul wanting to thrive, especially when young. My body has been broken for so long that I can't remember what it's like not to be in physical pain. I see other programmers and think how nice it must be to just code and not worry about pain, and reminisce when I was the same. I've long given up on my body healing on its own. The saying "All things heal with time" unfortunately isn't true for severe chronic pain.
All said, while my body has given up, and despite these depressing writings, my mind has not given up. My only goal in life has always been to live as long as possible to witness and experience life and future advancements in civilization, and that's still the case. I just wish I could have done it pain-free like most people my age, instead of having to live the rest of my decades in constant pain.
It was all really sad for the last several years, but I started to make a huge progress recently. Here's what helped me a lot:
- Cure my depression (as others already suggested). It's extremely hard to do when you have every moment of your life filled with physical pain, but you should concentrate and separate your mental state from your body. One thing that helped me tremendously were psychedelic mushrooms. Under skilled supervision, this thing do wonders.
- Realize that there is a thing called fascia in our bodies alongside muscles and bones. That is often the primary physical reason for chronic pain. Here is a good video with explanations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v54l3wDTJHg&t=638s. There are lots of strategies to treat your fascial syndrome, simplest and cheapest of which is foam rolling (helped me a lot). Acupuncture and massages are also great. Consistency is a key.
- Write everything down. This was the most important thing for me to solve the puzzle. You think you know your pain and your symptoms, but in reality they constantly change. And you perform different activities, feel different emotions. You need a place where you log all your pain symptoms, record any activities and track your progress towards healing. I use Obsidian for this. We software engineers tend to be too good at organizing software and too bad at organizing our own health records.
Hope any of it helps