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I went through a different situation about 18 months back, the upshot being I voluntarily left as well as being unable to ask for references.

I was devastated at the tine and it took me a year to recover.

Your advice is excellent, full of pragmatic wisdom and, had I encountered similar guidance during my convalescence, I likely would have regained my confidence sooner.

Especially useful is your suggestion to “be professional about it” as a contextualization for words “that are not really meant to be believed, and allows everyone to save a little face”.

(My problem was partly that I was so angry about being mistreated that I thought the truth should come out and my manager should be held accountable. If I could have let that go sooner, I’d have recovered faster.)



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