Happiness is a choice, virtually all programmers have been there, depressed that at some point in their life.

"Shitty past" pffft. Some people starve and die before they're 10. I had what is a comparatively "rough" start to life compared to most in my country, but I don't think it actually matters or should have any impact on my present happiness.

tl;dr Grow up, get out of your room, choose to be happy.