If you go to the trouble to write your own language, make it not terrible?
Public Abstract Class Animal
Abstract Function Speak() As String
Overridable Function Eat() As String
Return "Yum!"
End Function
End Class
Public Class Dog Inherits Animal
Override Function Speak()
Return "Woof!"
End Function
Override Function Eat()
Return Base.Eat() & " Woof!"
End Function
End Class