But how do I know that I want my mind to be the way X wants my mind to be, without shaping it like that and biasing my assessment afterwards? How do I know whether I wanted my mind to be this way? How did my mind get this way?
I know it's paranoia but sometimes I think ideas are more like viruses in more than the colloquial internet memetic sense. Like the brain literally has difficulty letting go of ideas because of the ways various ideas may alter brain structure and consequently influence perception.
OK, I did not mean it like that. A good manager is not going to manipulate you in ways that are not for your own good (really).
Example: Say I have trouble finishing tasks assigned to me. A bad manager fires me. A different bad manager tries to manipulate me. A good manager works with me to help me learn how to get better at finishing stuff. Does that change me? Yeah, maybe it does. But unless I regard "the way I am right now" as the perfect standard for who and what I'm supposed to be, change isn't this thing to be regarded with paranoia. It's not something that you should desperately seek to undo, except that you can't quite figure out how to do so because you're different now. It's a good thing. (At least, it can be, done well by good bosses.)
Another example: My boss sees that I'm not good at Android. He sends me to some Android training. That changes my skill set, but not who I am in any fundamental sense. But my boss is still, essentially, programming people.
Well, your perspective isn't necessarily wrong. There are people who will try to mess with your mind, manipulate you, even gaslight you. Some paranoia is warranted.
With that said, though, still don't lose your ability to trust...
