Interesting to read this. I'm a guy that played sports in HS and was very far from what one would classify as a 'geek'. Now I am learning programming and the reception from other more experienced programmers has been icy at times. It's interesting to see this - I would chalk it up to sexism, insecurity, and being territorial. If you're an outsider in any way, you will be told one way or another. Keep going!

On that note, my friends and I are working on a game that teaches game design, analytical thinking and programming. We're aiming to teach the skills needed to work in tech to people of all stripes. Check it out at www.betathegame.com

Whitney's is the most precise account of problems minorities (women among them) face in technology, starting with "Anger does not accurately describe my true feelings, and so I don’t feel angry.". Thank you for providing a good template for speaking about the issue.

I've even been a bit shaken by how accurate she can describe the typical every-day experiences: "You’ve met a lot of great people, and you have a lot of friends that you like to work with. Sometimes you don’t feel lonely or like a novelty, like when you’re sitting around the lunch table, cracking jokes with your coworkers. You feel happy and included. But when one of your coworkers makes a joke that is crude, even though it doesn’t offend you at all and you haven’t even had time to laugh, he turns to you and apologizes, because you are the only woman at the table and your delicate sensibilities must have been affronted. (...)

After that, when you meet new people in the game industry, sometimes you go out of your way to swear or say something off-color as quickly as possible, so your new male acquaintances will feel comfortable and won’t feel the need to walk on eggshells. You feel unnatural."

(I had to resort to this strategy a number of times. It didn't seem to work).

Interestingly enough, I never had this problems in Germany (where I'm originally from, and where I graduated university while working part-time as a developer). Hanging out with your typical geeks in high school and then university, the only attitude towards me was joy at finding one more person who shared their interests. I like the way John Scalzi put it:

"Many people believe geekdom is defined by a love of a thing, but I think — and my experience of geekdom bears on this thinking — that the true sign of a geek is a delight in sharing a thing. It’s the major difference between a geek and a hipster, you know: When a hipster sees someone else grooving on the thing they love, their reaction is to say “Oh, crap, now the wrong people like the thing I love.” When a geek sees someone else grooving on the thing they love, their reaction is to say “ZOMG YOU LOVE WHAT I LOVE COME WITH ME AND LET US LOVE IT TOGETHER.”"

(he clarifies, in a later post I think, that it is not meant to be an attack on hipster culture, but rather him using these words to describe these two different attitudes. there're "geeks" among hipsters and "hipsters" among geeks, too). It was only after I have moved to another country have I experienced the apologies for crude jokes during late-night bar outings, and the rest of it.