Here are some results from a research team that has been on the forefront of FHE implementations; note that this has been improved on significantly since last August, but you are still looking at minutes of computation for relatively small functions:
Don't forget Amdahl's law and Gustafson's law on the limits of parallelizing when the problem isn't P-complete. Either way, I disagree with your conclusion that it is misguided.
http://www.iacr.org/cryptodb/archive/2012/CRYPTO/presentatio...
Also, throwing "clustering" at every problem is misguided. Not all problems are easily parallelized:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-complete