Go for your dream. Experience it for yourself. Just don't get into the mindset that you have to stick around if it doesn't work. Have your Plan B and Plan C.
In terms of all startups being like this, its a big "it depends".
There are many companies doing software development that are across the full range of the spectrum. Don't be assuming that the BigCo or the startup represent the full range.
Since it looks like you can be somewhat free in deciding where you live, you have a big advantage. Making a good income doing software development means different quality of life depending where you are in the US. Perhaps your dream of moving to SV might be to overreaching. So break it into steps. Focus on getting some kind of software work in the US in a good place. Once you are here, you might just change your mind about what you want to do.
In terms of all startups being like this, its a big "it depends".
There are many companies doing software development that are across the full range of the spectrum. Don't be assuming that the BigCo or the startup represent the full range.
Since it looks like you can be somewhat free in deciding where you live, you have a big advantage. Making a good income doing software development means different quality of life depending where you are in the US. Perhaps your dream of moving to SV might be to overreaching. So break it into steps. Focus on getting some kind of software work in the US in a good place. Once you are here, you might just change your mind about what you want to do.