This comment has started a very annoying and unproductive debate that’s basically just parenting hot take tropes and judgmental parents explaining why their way is best so I’m just editing it away.
> You’re at a restaurant and your toddler is trying to run away and generally make a mess out of everything
I don't think toddlers should be at most restaurants. I have a toddler and a 7 month old. I'm not even saying that for the sake of the other patrons. There's really nothing fun whatsoever about being at restaurant with your toddler. We don't even have bad outcomes, but you're sort of trapped in your seat, it's messy, it's expensive, and you're constantly keeping your toddler in line.
Restaurant food is really not so good as to overcome those issues.
Horses for courses. Our we let our 2yo run riot at restaurants while we enjoy our food. It was an adaptation for my wife, for sure. I love it and best I can tell other patrons and staff love how comfortable our daughter is in the environment.
I suppose that would depend on the restaurant / patron.
For example, in Texas there are loads of TexMex restaurants and Hispanic cultures actually embrace children as part of the environment vs Western European cultures (which I was raised in) which don’t so much.
Yes, I am. And my spouse and I managed to raise two kids under the age of two without giving them an iPad. Yeah, it meant we didn't go to restaurants as much and that the house wasn't as clean as it was before. It's all trade offs.
I'm not saying this to say I'm a better parent than you are, but you don't __need__ an iPad or to plop them in front of a tv. Claims otherwise are just excuse making.
I wholeheartedly agree. I raised 5 kids 1 to 1.5 years apart before there were iPads or iPhones. We went to restaurants with them regularly and they did fine. We had the occasional issue but not often. More often we would get compliments on how well behaved. This absolutely possible.
Parent of 3 here. It's not just possible. It's quite normal for young kids to be well behaved in public places without having an electronic baby sitter.
We're lucky these things didn't exist before the introduction of the iPad, otherwise parenting would have been completely impossible and there wouldn't be any humans
I'm a parent (age 7 and 5 now). We had a strict no screen policy before the age of two, which really meant the oldest saw very little until after the second was born. It isn't that hard to live a normal life without screen in the home. I think a big part of the problem nowadays is making sure home is for home stuff. Not just work, but all other non-home stuff (preparing taxes, discussing bills, online banking, online health insurance bullshit, and so on) has infiltrated our homes. I've found that reserving a block of time to tackle that stuff instead of trying to do it throughout the makes parenting more manageable without giving children a screen.
Both my kids really struggled at night for years, and I sypmpathize with the lack of sleep.
Oh woe is me! Sometimes your kid is going to cry. They’ll make a scene. Who cares that’s what children do. That doesn’t mean you throw an iPad in front of them so that they’ll shut up. I swear my fellow millennials are the worst parents because they won’t let their kids ever be uncomfortable for a second, and they’re too afraid of being embarrassed about their crying kids. Meanwhile putting a screen in front of them is just making everything worse long term
The reality is that your kid only demands an iPad because they know what an an iPad is. If you never crack the seal and show them a scren, even once, your kid will be briefly annoyed and then figure out ways to entertain themselves with the silverware.
(yes, I have 3 kids, I am speaking from experience)
Reminds me of when my toddler came back from an overnight at the grandparents house and started excitedly telling me about how you can put syrup and butter on pancakes. He had been just fine before that with plain pancakes, but wouldn't touch them afterward without syrup and butter. Thanks for that, dad.
Lol they will not 'entertain themselves' at that point. They will see you working on the computer, start smashing and mashing the buttons and annoying the ever living shit out of you because you have something they do not and it looks to be interesting. Yes you can deal with that in various ways, but they will have an idea what it is, even if you manage to suppress that curiosity through some form of discipline.
I'm not sure about your kid but if my kid sees something new, they will stop at absolutely nothing until they find out what it is. This is why it's good, for example, if a child is curious about something like guns to show them what it is in a supervised way rather than have them get a crowbar and break into your safe and find out the hard way and hurt themselves.
I envy your reality. In mine adults have to do work at random times during the day and holes in childcare exists. Something like an adult-only home office and childcare without holes is a pipe dream.
> We're pretty strict about office door closed == dad working
Interesting, I grew up in a house like that, and didn't see much of my dad for many years because of it. Something I didn't do with my own daughter, I always loved her coming into to distract me when I was working from home (pre-pandemic).
> This comment has started a very annoying and unproductive debate that’s basically just parenting hot take tropes and judgmental parents explaining why their way is best so I’m just editing it away.
We're here to discuss topics. If you are going to say that an iPad is a necessary tool for raising children, at least stand behind that point of view instead of removing it as soon as people disagree with you.
I'm a parent and I have no idea what you're talking about. Especially that thing about not being able to get away for a shower... That seems ridiculous like it's coming from another species from another planet! I mean kids are ultimately people. You care for and love them but they neither want nor need your attention 100% of the time, not even as an infant. The vibe I get is the parents who go through this are super nervous and anxious about their kids well being so they create this unnecessary and unrealistic demand on themselves that they can't meet. The sad irony is that when the relationship is so fraught the poor child really only sees you as a nervous wreck so of course they're attachment will itself become anxious. I really enjoy being a dad and my kids are great and every time I hear this characterization of it it kind of pisses me off. Sure maybe I'm just lucky, my personality is well suited to it or the kids are genetically suited to being good kids or whatever, but something tells me the vast majority of humans have a positive experience being a parent or else the species wouldn't continue to exist.
I am not at all a nervous wreck regarding my children but my toddler would definitely not ever let me have a shower in peace even if they were fully satisfied with attention and toys from another caregiver. It definitely depends on the child. Some are just hyper-social and at all times want to be in communication with absolutely everyone in the house, which was definitely not learned trait nor a response of something like no one paying attention to them.
