Thanks for the insights. But I've already been at this kind of position in the past (tech-lead role involving managing the devs). I hated the management part and even had to recover from a burn-out of a huge and messy project.
Also I care too deeply about the quality of the software being developed and am very much perfectionist, which usually translates into lots of frustration for both me and the team.
> Also I care too deeply about the quality of the software being developed and am very much perfectionist, which usually translates into lots of frustration for both me and the team.
This is at odds with business needs, very usually. So it doesn't surprise me that you feel people don't listen. Very few business are making money trying to pursue perfect software or quality software - if any.
Like security, trying to be perfectionist won't move any business need/project forward as we all have the real world to deal with, constraints on time / budget / scope are part of decision making
Honestly, I'd say you need to try working with more distance from the devs and work at a higher, more strategic level.
Instead of worrying about how a particular bit of software is built, you should be creating better ways of building. Enhancing processes, making the technology better, improving how dev work is delivered, rather than the minutia of a single development project.
Being a perfectionist tech lead directly managing the devs on a project sounds exhausting for yourself and the team.
Also I care too deeply about the quality of the software being developed and am very much perfectionist, which usually translates into lots of frustration for both me and the team.