Say there are two ways to get to your destination. You still need to use the appropriate vehicle/surfboard for the route you've chosen to use. Even if there is a bridge you can run/walk across, if you try and surf across the water without a surfboard, and try to walk it, you're gonna have a bad time.

Analogy feels a bit tortured at this point.

What a coincidence that now's the point it's tortured and not any earlier!

It was incredibly tortured from the get go and is screaming that it be put out of its misery.

Look, my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

I'm sorry, is this the full half hour argument or only the five minute one?