Often the wants dissipate over time. One craves sleeping in, having a coffee and not arguing with your spouse. Sure if you push people they might confess about abandoned dreams, but my experience is that most people over 45 are quite content. Maybe it’s a Swedish thing.
Can relate to both. There aren’t a lot of winters left where I’ll be able to ski. The future no longer feels infinite. I do not have all of the time in the world to do the things I enjoy. But, and my younger self would be very upset with me, I am very happily done with the hussle.
> But these days, there’s nothing lovelier than a Saturday morning with a bit of jazz or classical playing, pottering about the kitchen, and then being tucked up in bed before 10pm. Wild.
Play with the dogs. Smoke some weed, a nice meal and play cards with the wife. Don’t need much more.
It’s definitely a Swedish thing. I have some friends there and have visited your country, and the quality of life is incredible and people seem very happy, even if they don’t outwardly show it (people also seemed very private).
I lived in a nearby country for a couple of years and very quickly, the culture of Northern Europe pulled me in. People still want to improve themselves and their communities, they work hard at things they value, but don’t seem to be too bothered by small details or things outside of their control. It’s a very healthy culture - something I can’t say about the current state of my country (USA).
I think I’d choose that over the more American version of panicking when you’re 48 due to not hitting some culturally driven metric of success. An example of desire causing needless suffering.
I definitely have fewer wants, though they tend to be more expensive (guitars). I notice that a lot of things I used to really enjoy kind of fall flat for me now, notably metal concerts and video games. Still like both of them a lot, but they don't do as much for me.
The things I want tend to be hard to buy in the first place: autonomy/independence of time, more time with my parents, better skills as a musician, a more kind and patient heart. I think at some point I developed a taste for the long game, the type where there is no limit on improvement.
