Once upon a time, I ran out of money and was feeling kinda suicidal, so I thought, hey, why not take up whaling? and oh man, the captain. Where to begin? His white whale was an actual white whale. Not a beluga: I mean a sperm whale, horrifyingly white, and bigger than any other! And he had the most interesting conversations when he thought I wasn't listening… Anyway, I spent much of the voyage giving my religious opinions to anyone who'd listen. (I also have opinions about vegetarianism! And whiteness!) Alas, each who listened has drowned himself. Or was it God who drowned them? I have opinions on that, too!
