That’s really heartbreaking to read, especially the underlying sense of shame. I feel for him.

Lamotrigine is worth checking out for those who never tried it. Antidepressants never worked for me either. But, Lamotrigine eliminated the worst of my depression and constant ideation. Apparently, it rarely works for people, but when it does, it works really well (see past HN comments containing “Lamotrigine”).