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> In addition to everything else, also love how a bed with the express purpose to increase sleep quality requires you to open your phone every time you want to adjust a setting.

Don't worry, they'll repeat over and over how their product was thoughtfully designed with exquisite craftsmanship by the re-animated corpse of Johnny Ive [1] until people believe it's true.

[1] I know he's not dead.

Also...

> ... Essentially all you need to do is unplug the rubber tubing from the Eight Sleep cover, which is available on eBay for a few hundred bucks, and plug it into a $150 aquarium chiller.

> That’s it. Aquarium chillers are somewhat of a misnomer, as they can also provide heat. They use thermoelectric devices to regulate temperature, either cooling or warming the liquid that flows through them, which is the same technology found in eight sleep.

How much do you want to bet the Eight Sleep is literally an off-the-shelf Chinese Aquarium chiller in a custom case marked up 15x, with a shitily-programmed computer bolted on to enable a $20/month subscription?



I'm sure they do use a prefab thermoelectric assembly model that they designed their case around. It's usually cheaper.


I mean this comment is slightly disconcerting to next generation of brilliant hackers sleeping on this bed and dreaming big of a Cloud controlled Toilet Paper Dispenser, Effececy®. It will always give right amount of paper based of amount and moisture content of just delivered product.


I rolled my own solution to this using a Boston Dynamics Spot (2nd gen). With the structured light scanner, YOLO v5 for classification, and a custom IK solver (BD's is too hard for me), I can just lay back like a baby once I'm finished and Spot takes care of everything.


This is a super funny idea if it works (in theory; I get it's a joke) and a SUPER funny idea if it malfunctions in particular ways.


Github issue:

My e-ass wiper mistook one of my testicles for poo and ripped it off. Please fix


Ticket raised, please accept complementary Neuticles eVoucher (includes shipping, log on via Q-code to specify required size).


Don’t fall for this. I purchased this product then they pushed a bunch of the basic features behind a paywall. The ‘vibrate on SMS’ is worth it if you do go that route and don’t mind proxying your phone comms through their servers, though.




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