> Had he been American, I could have conveyed the depth, breadth and velocity of my sugar consumption with a single concept: Cookie Monster, but less particular. Did they have “Sesame Street” in Austria? I feared confusing him if I asked. To play it safe, I said something even more bewildering: “Picture a monster that just ate candy all day long. That’s me.”
> Whether because of jet lag or a shortfall of resuscitative sugar compounds careering through my bloodstream, by lunchtime the first day I was so leadenly tired — even though the only other tasks I had accomplished so far were stripping off my spandex workout clothes to have my body rubbed with salt like a chicken carcass and stripping them off a second time to have my body rubbed with oil like a potato carcass
Stunning writing that had me laughing out loud throughout the entire article.
My father did water skiing in Maria Wörth and met my mother there. My aunts still live there (owning hotels). It's beautiful, but a trap.
You can get the cheapest rooms in Austria there for around 30€, but then you have traps like this and Pörtschach and more.