> What you want is a system where the merchant submits a payment request which is then either manually approved by the customer on their bank's website (e.g. for immediate delivery of goods)

That's how it works with my current bank and my previous one as well here in Italy: the first few transactions require manual approval via app, then the system "learns" that it's you and just notifies you there's been a transaction with your card.

It never happened to me so I'm only speculating, but I suspect that, as soon as it detects suspicious activity, confirmation is requested again.