But a potentially useful perspective on how the situation may look like from the opposing side.
Sometimes the parents are like "how can I increase the pressure on my children to make them better perform according to my standards?" and the children are like "the 24/7 pressure from my parents with no time to relax is driving me so crazy that my choices seem to be either suicide or video games; so far I am choosing the video games".
Now trying to convert this to advice...
Maybe something like: "Hey, I wonder if things are okay; I have this feeling like maybe you have a lot of stress recently. Sometimes when I am stressed, I try to distract myself with the computer, but that's actually not an efficient way to relax, many new inputs. Taking a walk, even a short one, works better for me. And I feel like taking a walk today, would you like to accompany me?" (note: no is a valid answer here)
If the child agrees, during the walk I might start talking (the first 5 minutes) by mentioning some problems that I have (unrelated to the child), not necessarily serious ones, could be something like "I am not sure what to cook for dinner today", but without making it the child's responsibility, so I would also make it clear that I am expecting myself to solve it, e.g. "maybe the same thing I did last week, but I need to check whether we actually have the necessary ingredients at home, after we return". Then silence. There is a chance the child also mentions something. Maybe the important thing will not be mentioned first, but rather something small... to test the waters.
For this to work, there needs to be some general conditions of trust. The child should trust the parent that telling them about their problems will not backfire horribly (e.g. will not result at the parent having yet another thing to nag them or make a huge drama about).
Sometimes the parents are like "how can I increase the pressure on my children to make them better perform according to my standards?" and the children are like "the 24/7 pressure from my parents with no time to relax is driving me so crazy that my choices seem to be either suicide or video games; so far I am choosing the video games".
Now trying to convert this to advice...
Maybe something like: "Hey, I wonder if things are okay; I have this feeling like maybe you have a lot of stress recently. Sometimes when I am stressed, I try to distract myself with the computer, but that's actually not an efficient way to relax, many new inputs. Taking a walk, even a short one, works better for me. And I feel like taking a walk today, would you like to accompany me?" (note: no is a valid answer here)
If the child agrees, during the walk I might start talking (the first 5 minutes) by mentioning some problems that I have (unrelated to the child), not necessarily serious ones, could be something like "I am not sure what to cook for dinner today", but without making it the child's responsibility, so I would also make it clear that I am expecting myself to solve it, e.g. "maybe the same thing I did last week, but I need to check whether we actually have the necessary ingredients at home, after we return". Then silence. There is a chance the child also mentions something. Maybe the important thing will not be mentioned first, but rather something small... to test the waters.
For this to work, there needs to be some general conditions of trust. The child should trust the parent that telling them about their problems will not backfire horribly (e.g. will not result at the parent having yet another thing to nag them or make a huge drama about).