The craziest thing to me is he was still posting up to the very end. I've seen this multiple times in end-stage cancers, my grandfather's pancreatic cancer, he seemed "fine" (other than looking incredibly sick) til the last ~12 hours or so - he was even doing some yard work the day or two before he died. He knew the entire time how much time was left, too. I don't know why I find this so crazy, other than I hope I never have to go through it - you're very aware of what's going on for a long, long time up until the end.
Yes I remember the shock to hear that The Hermit, who kinda run The Register forums, died on the same day I had a chat with him. He quietly messaged me to give me some advice that was spot on. I had no idea and there was no hint that he was at the tail end of a protracted illness. They closed the forums and the website continued to change and be less of a community after that.
i’ve come to believe that we’re more terrified of a situation while we’re not in it. once in there, and especially when there’s no way out, our bodies make the necessary adjustments for the new normal. and soon our minds/being follow. it’s often characterized as extraordinary strength by onlookers when in fact the person going through the experience had no way out. in my mother tongue, we have a proverb which roughly translates to ‘bravery is situational.’ therefore there are no cowards, just people without the necessary conditions to demonstrate bravery. if you’re lucky, you find it.
putting this in this context was helpful, thank you. I have a few chronic medical conditions that when people learn about it sometimes remark “i dont know how you deal with that” and the answer really is a shrug and “there’s no choice.” humans are good at adapting for sure
IMHO it’s because in our imagination anything is possible, we can imagine the bad situation in more and more elaborate and complicated scenarios.
And we can’t see beyond the bad situation.
While once we are in the situation we can do very practical things and have agency to react to and improve our situation.
I once read a French „practical philosopher“ who expressed it much better than me, but yea essentially the most terrifying situations are in our imagination.
I think thats why cancer is such a vicious illness to have a loved one experience. Its a long drawn-out suffering, with an inevitability at the end of it. The body shuts down gradually as the cancer wins out. For my sister it was the same with 'good days' vs 'bad days'. At first bad days were the minority and over time the ratio changed.
A sister's friend's mother had a very aggressive cancer that was diagnosed and in 10 days killed her. In a twisted way, I think that might be worse than tge long drawn battle, where more time is available.
I have no first hand experience, so this is speculation. It was just shocking to hear.
8 days ago he posted a random comment about housing in Austin. So mundane.
Life and death are strange. I'm embarrassed to know that if I had 1 month to live, I'd probably still spend a couple of hours a day watching random youtube videos and commenting on meaningless HN and reddit threads.
Maybe they aren't so meaningless. Congregating in public forums to exchange ideas is something humans have done for millennia. I should hope that, amid the noise, we find value in the conversations here and leave a bit more enlightened or entertained.
It's very strange - some people are lucid and mobile up until nearly the end, and others are 'out of it' for a long time. My mother was mostly delirious and bedridden for the entire last month of her life before dying from cancer.
I suppose if the person is able to find peace with what's happening, then maybe it's better to be lucid, but for others, maybe being 'out of it' is a blessing.
Glad he is no longer suffering.