Thanks, it seems dokku does allow bringing in outside nginx vhosts, something I must have overlooked the last time I checked. I'll have to take a deeper look.
Dokku supports a variety of proxy implementations - nginx on the host, caddy/haproxy/openresty/traefik from within containers. The latter are managed via compose files, and can be customized to not listen on the host if you _really_ wanted to (and then proxied to from whatever your actual host system is).
While we optimize for the 90% case, I'd definitely be interested in learning more about your needs to see if we can maybe get closer to what you're looking for. On the nginx side, the port mappings are such that port 80 is used by default, but you could swap it to be something else (and also listen on localhost) and then proxy to nginx from your proxy of choice, allowing you to take advantage of Dokku while using whatever you currently use.