Was violence involved?

sadly yes and circumstances surrounding has made attending funeral a bit challenging which has made processing a bit hard

Great question.

I lost one of my parents through cancer. There are times I wished they were shot in the alley because at least I'd have someone to be angry at.

Alas my faith determines that it was the parts we play as the world is a stage.

I cope by playing my part. I speak fondly. I forgive and learned to be content with the lack of answers. The if only had to stop. I can't stop every poor choice, bad action, or accident.

Hopefully that helps. The violence done to me in my past didn't lead to death. After about 15 years I was able to forgive my bullies and random people who harmed me for my skin color and faith.

that's dark apologies if asking brings up bad memories. do you have any recommendation for someone who doesn't believe in any religions?

No. I refuse to live a life without hope. I would rather believe a lie than live thinking this life is all we have.

That's valid and I totally respect that but I'm asking for any tips that don't involve religion / for someone who believes what we see is what there is

Escape through drugs and experiences until death. Eat, drink, for tomorrow we die.

I wish I could have that kind of faith, but I always get stuck on "how do I pick which lie"?

Think of faith as a choice. Then weigh your satisfaction after exercising it.

Perhaps I could go off your username, and put my faith in pizza. I'm generally pretty satisfied after pizza.