I suspect wealth is the causal agent for lack of religion - not just wealth concentrated in a few and the rest in extreme poverty. Being an opiate for the masses, it’s important to have god when life is essentially not worth living. As the median wealth increases opiates are less necessary to forestall abject misery. Likewise, the need to have many children decreases.

But, there is nothing quite like raising a new life, one that for whom you loom as large as your parents loom for you, for better or worse. Your choice as to which. Maybe your parents were worse. But you can be better. That’s powerful stuff man, and worth it.

I am profoundly sorry to hear about your struggles. I have had my own that are enough to curl anyone’s hair. A king once called a Buddhist monk and ordered him to give him the most valuable treasure that can be. The monk took the crown off his head and inscribed in it “this too shall pass.”