How do I use a w4 to fix the social security problem without incurring underpayment of state and federal? Exemptions apply to all the taxes, no?

Not sure about state, but you don't pay Federal Income and FICA separately. They are just numbers that get added together. You just pay money, and the IRS splits it up after they collect. If you "overpay" Income by $1000 and "underpay" FICA by a $1000, you're done, no problem.

I think the W-4 only applies to federal income tax. There's no field that instructs employers how much to pay in FICA (their share and yours). At best you can reduce withholdings to account for the excess FICA payments.

It's all total tax burden. Dollars are fungible.