We have friends in their late 30's and early 40's who still live with multiple roommates. They're "well educated" but can't seem to hold a job, or stay in a relationship, or pay for anything. They've got subscriptions ticking away that they didn't remember they had, and then they're shocked to learn about an overdraft fee or a big credit card bill.
One of them recently got a high paying job at a medical office and then abruptly quit because "there weren't any photos of black people on the office walls." They like to remind everyone of how broke they are, but they have new cars or new car leases, a new iPhone every other year, and seem to have plenty of money for weed. Lots and lots of weed.
When they do get a job, they're always the victim, nothing is ever their fault. Or they'll complain about how much work they have to do, or how fast they're expected to move. But they do nothing quickly, it's like their neurons don't fire. They'll spend 30 minutes in a dazed state trying to figure out how to arrange groceries in a single bag.
And they're always late, to everything. They're late to dinner, to gym class, to the movies, to important events. It doesn't seem to bother them at all. Being late is part of their "woe is me" disposition.
They're all good people, but their brains are a gelatinous mess and they exist in a perpetual state of helpless confusion. Lights are on, no one's home. They got a master's degree but didn't learn anything about how interest works?
We've tried to help in any way we can. We've helped them with job applications and basic communication skills, taught one of them about credit card statements and due dates, and helped another pay down and close out 15 rewards cards.
Yeah yeah, there's lots of nuance that I've left out, lots of reasons for the current condition of a large demographic, lots of reasons for families to live and stay together. I'm just saying, I am constantly surprised (especially when hiring) at how careless and sluggish some people are about...everything.
So now what? Now that you realize that the majority of people are not high performers, which is totally fine by the way, what are you gonna do? No amount of neglect, shame, coercion or otherwise is going to change that. People aren’t dumb (I mean some are) they are reasonably hopeless. And that’s perfectly OK, so what are you gonna do about that? I hear lots of people say we need fewer people or those people just didn’t need to not have kids. OK who? I’m not sure how you make this claim without landing at some kind of insane system which rank values people.
In fact, there is a singular solution, and only one solution. A healthy community that cares about people individually and finding the right place for them in society as their full selves.
There are more than enough people on this planet for us to all take care of each other. The fact that our resources are put primarily towards self gratification is an indictment of the structures that have been created, not a reflection of some foundational natural order.
The people you describe do not sound like the vast majority of people I know. The couple of people I know like this are on the "wake and bake" plan, so of course they can't understand interest or plan ahead or really any of that normal adulting.
same here - some people just have a 'peasant mentality' mindset that will cause them to make bad decisions/self-sabotage themselves their entire life because they identify themselves as someone that struggles to survive, even though they wouldn't have to if they just got with the program even a little bit.
Every single part of this is a red flag for the "failure to launch" crowd. Welcome to professional victimhood.
> They got a master's degree but didn't learn anything about how interest works?
I don't know where and when it started, but the advanced degree is the cherry on top-- people with no need for them seeking advanced degrees to delay adulthood another four years. They rarely have jobs in the interim, because someone else is footing the bill.
> But they do nothing quickly, it's like their neurons don't fire. They'll spend 30 minutes in a dazed state trying to figure out how to arrange groceries in a single bag.
Nah, their neurons are firing. They got a Master's, remember? Or are advanced degrees actually that worthless that we give them out to people this braindead?
They're quick to respond to "triggers," and very quick to point out anything you do that could be problematic to someone in a remote region of Laos. They don't miss a fucking beat to detect transgressions of others.
Bagging groceries isn't as exciting as scrolling Instagram, so they put as little effort into it as possible. If they get fired, they get unemployment, or can try to make a discrimination claim for someone not respecting which pronouns they were wearing on Tuesday.
You'll find these types on /r/illnessfakers and /r/maliciouscompliance deliberately sabotaging anything they're expected to do for themselves so they can throw themselves into their safety net (usually parents, other times e-begging).
Provocation and lying by omission (crybullying) is the name of the game. See also the "parents threw me out for being gay" crowd. Never get involved until you've dragged the kid back to their house (they will fight and resist, hard, alleging violence, but you as a witness should only help their case, right?)-- you'll often find their room intact and worried parents waiting for their return. Anyone who legitimately hates their kids will throw them and every memory of them out into the street, like dogshit-- and be quite transparent about why. That's what hatred looks like.
The precursor will have been being asked to stop bringing up the subjects of enemas and anal prolapse at the dinner table, at which point they cried oppression and ran away.
For 60 years, the machinery of our society has been laser focused on assuring people that they are victims in all avenues of life. Why should we be surprised when they and their children and their children’s children start to believe it?
I think these kind of individual experiences are not useful to explain the overall issue, there are a statistically relevant amount of people who can’t move out and so don’t have kids, if countries want to remain relevant and not suffer from a demographic decline, the issue need to be solved, now someone can’t hold a job, someone might he smoking weed, it’s irrelevant, the solution has to be found at scale, without focusing too much on single cases
We have friends in their late 30's and early 40's who still live with multiple roommates. They're "well educated" but can't seem to hold a job, or stay in a relationship, or pay for anything. They've got subscriptions ticking away that they didn't remember they had, and then they're shocked to learn about an overdraft fee or a big credit card bill.
One of them recently got a high paying job at a medical office and then abruptly quit because "there weren't any photos of black people on the office walls." They like to remind everyone of how broke they are, but they have new cars or new car leases, a new iPhone every other year, and seem to have plenty of money for weed. Lots and lots of weed.
When they do get a job, they're always the victim, nothing is ever their fault. Or they'll complain about how much work they have to do, or how fast they're expected to move. But they do nothing quickly, it's like their neurons don't fire. They'll spend 30 minutes in a dazed state trying to figure out how to arrange groceries in a single bag.
And they're always late, to everything. They're late to dinner, to gym class, to the movies, to important events. It doesn't seem to bother them at all. Being late is part of their "woe is me" disposition.
They're all good people, but their brains are a gelatinous mess and they exist in a perpetual state of helpless confusion. Lights are on, no one's home. They got a master's degree but didn't learn anything about how interest works?
We've tried to help in any way we can. We've helped them with job applications and basic communication skills, taught one of them about credit card statements and due dates, and helped another pay down and close out 15 rewards cards.
Yeah yeah, there's lots of nuance that I've left out, lots of reasons for the current condition of a large demographic, lots of reasons for families to live and stay together. I'm just saying, I am constantly surprised (especially when hiring) at how careless and sluggish some people are about...everything.