I'm sorry to hear about these tragedies in your life.
You can't get away from those.
I disagree. I recommend that you either leave the US for a different highly advanced economy, or find a US city with decent mass transit. Yes, it will require major changes to your life. Your chance of personal injury while riding mass transit is virtual nil -- a rounding error.
Ah got it, so your solution is to uproot my entire family to optimize for this one issue. Damage is already done. Plus where would I go? Who would take an old man like myself who won't be an ROI on taxes paid before retirement?
> Ah got it, so your solution is to uproot my entire family to optimize for this one issue.
If these tragedies you describe keep happening (as described), and the fault you identified points directly to the problems of American drivers, I find it shocking you suddenly describe it as "this one issue". Either it's as problematic as you described or it's not.
Something can be quite problematic but still cost more to cure than the harms incurred.
And if one believes that, e.g. self driving cars will do a lot to address it in the next decade, they especially might not want to incur the costs of the alternatives.