Re your battalion commander: "Mrs. Colonel" — and for that matter "Mrs. E-9" — and their husbands are a longstanding problem, but as far as I could tell* in my day, it was just a minor irritant. No organization is flawless, and you'll find d[*]ckheads, with and without spousal attachments, in mid- and senior management in most walks of life.

* Grew up in the USAF, served in the USN