as a kid who played chess, the kids who were 'forced' to play chess -- the ones who came from a long chess playing family and had different scenarios drilled into their head from the day they could talk -- were much more talented at chess than I.
Their talent persuaded them to continue pursuing it far longer than I ever did, with many of them still involved.
The most involvement I have now is a friendly lichess game every few months.
It was their talent that allowed them to find more enjoyment within the pursuit than I ever did, and that talent was essentially forced by their immediate family.
So, essentially, I am just saying that forced persuasion thing that parents' sometimes do is a double-edged sword; it can create animosity and bitter hatred but it can also create the drive and motivation for boundless talent and personal satisfaction.
I’m pretty good at computers but had no real guidance. I now hire young people with a genuine interest, then gift them equipment and guidance that will last them their entire lifetime (Even if they get a career in something else).
There’s such thing as pushing too hard, but nobody got buff without being pushed by those around them
This made me a little sad. I remember my parents pushing water colors, carving sets, parks and rec, trumpets, books, computers, you name it in front of me to help me find something I was interested in. They didn't force any particular thing on me, but definitely exposed me to many things to help me find my path. Then they supported my interest in ways that boggle my mind looking back. There is no way they could afford to provide me many of the experiences I had.
I sincerely hope that you were just ignorant of the help you received along the way. A child with absolutely no support or encouragement is a very depressing thought.
I think you are misinterpreting "push". In the comment you replied to, it is (I believe) being used in the sense of "pressure, force, compel", rather than "provide with opportunity". My reading of TedDoesntTalk's comment does not indicate that they were provided with no support or opportunity - merely that the motivation to persist with those opportunities, once they ceased being easy fun distractions and required dedication for improvement, arose internally.
You had a very priviledged childhood then. The only response to my interests I got from my parents was "you are already good at school why are you straining yourself doing these unnecessary things".
And I did not have bad parents. Many actually hinder their childrens development, instead of being ambivalent to it.
The only reason I got into development (and have a successful career) today is because I was able to work on what I wanted to prior to starting said career. If a parent had 'tasked' me with anything, it would have turned me off. Not because I'm disobedient or anything, but because I have disabilities that don't agree with that method of learning.
For the record, 'tasked' is probably not the best word to describe for what exactly happened (English is not my native language). In fact, what happened was this:
- Dad, I'm so done with this Snake game, give me some other task?
- Ok, how about making that LZW thing we talked earlier?
Can you explain more? My whole life I felt the same. If I have to do something, I just hate it and can't move forward. But if is my choice Im really good a it.
Judit Polgár (born 23 July 1976) is a Hungarian chess grandmaster, widely regarded as the strongest female chess player of all time.
Polgár and her two older sisters, Grandmaster Susan and International Master Sofia, were part of an educational experiment carried out by their father, László Polgár, in an attempt to prove that children could make exceptional achievements if trained in a specialist subject from a very early age. "Geniuses are made, not born," was László's thesis. He and his wife Klára educated their three daughters at home, with chess as the specialist subject.
I picked up skills after my parents because I was curious and they were both knowledgeable in their respective fields(my dad, a medical equipment engineer, could repair a TV, which for a five year old amounted to a superpower).
I was never forced to do anything and yet had the exact same headstart you're talking about, but in e.g. school math.
Of course that did a lot of damage to my work ethic, but the point is that kids are naturally curious and, at least initially, want to do what their parents do.
as a kid who played chess, the kids who were 'forced' to play chess -- the ones who came from a long chess playing family and had different scenarios drilled into their head from the day they could talk -- were much more talented at chess than I.
Their talent persuaded them to continue pursuing it far longer than I ever did, with many of them still involved.
The most involvement I have now is a friendly lichess game every few months.
It was their talent that allowed them to find more enjoyment within the pursuit than I ever did, and that talent was essentially forced by their immediate family.
So, essentially, I am just saying that forced persuasion thing that parents' sometimes do is a double-edged sword; it can create animosity and bitter hatred but it can also create the drive and motivation for boundless talent and personal satisfaction.