You’re right that someone who calls me X or you Y won’t fight for us. What I tried to communicate is that folks who spend a lot of time fighting for using specific verbiage to refer to me so as to not offend, are not really helping me. In fact, as Dave Chapelle has pointed out, when it really comes down to it, even people who obsess about using language that they think would offend me don’t stick their necks out when it really matters; they might correct speech or go to a march (gay pride for instance), but ask them to sacrifice something and it is crickets.