My experience mirrors yours. In my large groups of Indian coworkers, family and friends, mention or discussion of caste comes up zero times.

It's so bizarre to read HN articles and comments on caste and they feel surreal. I think there is a certain section of HN'ers who make a big deal of this and upvote nonsense posts so it helps them compete against Indian Americans for promotions to managerial positions.

For disclosure, I am not a high caste Indian, and both sides of my family eat meat.