These are just my reponses on my experiences with my children. Please do not think they are solid advice or something.
- Did you think about what sort of parent you'd like to be and work backwards?
Only on some things. When i knew it was going to be girls, i thought some things over and over in my mind in how not to be a bad or weird dad to them. The oldest is hitting puberty and still loves me. I call that a big win.
- Did you think about what makes a good kid and work backwards?
I realized a lot of their behaviour comes from how we as parents and other people around them speak, act and do. Being good to myself, my wife and others also kinda taught my children how to behave around people. It also taught me very quickly to be careful in how to express (negative) feelings towards other people or things. We have alo had a lot of bad examples around us and we learned a lot from those people on how NOT to do some things.
We taught them both to properly thank people who help/assist/take care of you. I'll never forget that nurse who told me they were the first children in many years that actually thanked them. For me it was a normal human thing to do and i damn well made sure my children knew it was a normal human thing to do to properly thank people. Years later that nurse still remembers my children and asks how they are doing.
- Did you align with a "style" of parenting?
No. I'm more a go-with-the-flow type. Every day can be different with different challenges. There is no perfect plan, but there is no total chaos as well. I also try to give them as much knowledge as possible, but will tell them i can also be very very wrong and that it's very important to do your own research and not trust everything just because someone said it would be so.
The youngest is interested in religion. I have a very strong negative opinion about religion, but i think it is also very important that i don't just tell only the negative experiences and knowledge but also the fun and joy it may bring to people.
Both of them can get bored quickly because i like to over explain things a lot (I am kinda scared of forgetting or missing things) :)
Once in a while i ask them if i'm still a good dad.
- How did you use technology to help you?
I taught them very quickly how to use remotes and controllers when they were interested (never forced them). My first child was once very curious about my xbox controller. She tried to eat it first and toyed around with it for half an hour. After that the interest was lost. Later on she quickly realised that when the remotes or controllers don't function, the fun on the screen also stops. So it was in their best interest to keep things running smoothly. We never had any problems with electronics whatsoever. This was also in our benefit, since we're not rich and cannot buy a new tv just because we want to.
I also try and teach them the importance of maintenance and cleaning, but it's tough making that a fun thing.
- Did you keep your kids away from technology (like watching TV) for the first couple of years or just go for it?
All in balance. You can get very crazy yourself after 24 hour cry sessions. A little tv won't hurt them while you regain some sanity.
Nowadays the oldest knows i can practically control everything on her smartphone. I told her so the minute we setup the phone together. I also told her we are not going to do that or monitor her 24/7, but if things seem strange to us we will check on things. I also told her how we think about TikTok, but i'm not forcing her to remove it. She must decide it for herself. If i decide for her and she still loves using it, she will find other ways of using it and the only thing i would have destroyed is her trust in me.
- What would you do differently if you had your time again?
Be less vocal about frustrating things. Sense more when they want explanations and when not.
- Did you think about what sort of parent you'd like to be and work backwards?
Only on some things. When i knew it was going to be girls, i thought some things over and over in my mind in how not to be a bad or weird dad to them. The oldest is hitting puberty and still loves me. I call that a big win.
- Did you think about what makes a good kid and work backwards?
I realized a lot of their behaviour comes from how we as parents and other people around them speak, act and do. Being good to myself, my wife and others also kinda taught my children how to behave around people. It also taught me very quickly to be careful in how to express (negative) feelings towards other people or things. We have alo had a lot of bad examples around us and we learned a lot from those people on how NOT to do some things.
We taught them both to properly thank people who help/assist/take care of you. I'll never forget that nurse who told me they were the first children in many years that actually thanked them. For me it was a normal human thing to do and i damn well made sure my children knew it was a normal human thing to do to properly thank people. Years later that nurse still remembers my children and asks how they are doing.
- Did you align with a "style" of parenting?
No. I'm more a go-with-the-flow type. Every day can be different with different challenges. There is no perfect plan, but there is no total chaos as well. I also try to give them as much knowledge as possible, but will tell them i can also be very very wrong and that it's very important to do your own research and not trust everything just because someone said it would be so.
The youngest is interested in religion. I have a very strong negative opinion about religion, but i think it is also very important that i don't just tell only the negative experiences and knowledge but also the fun and joy it may bring to people.
Both of them can get bored quickly because i like to over explain things a lot (I am kinda scared of forgetting or missing things) :)
Once in a while i ask them if i'm still a good dad.
- How did you use technology to help you?
I taught them very quickly how to use remotes and controllers when they were interested (never forced them). My first child was once very curious about my xbox controller. She tried to eat it first and toyed around with it for half an hour. After that the interest was lost. Later on she quickly realised that when the remotes or controllers don't function, the fun on the screen also stops. So it was in their best interest to keep things running smoothly. We never had any problems with electronics whatsoever. This was also in our benefit, since we're not rich and cannot buy a new tv just because we want to.
I also try and teach them the importance of maintenance and cleaning, but it's tough making that a fun thing.
- Did you keep your kids away from technology (like watching TV) for the first couple of years or just go for it?
All in balance. You can get very crazy yourself after 24 hour cry sessions. A little tv won't hurt them while you regain some sanity.
Nowadays the oldest knows i can practically control everything on her smartphone. I told her so the minute we setup the phone together. I also told her we are not going to do that or monitor her 24/7, but if things seem strange to us we will check on things. I also told her how we think about TikTok, but i'm not forcing her to remove it. She must decide it for herself. If i decide for her and she still loves using it, she will find other ways of using it and the only thing i would have destroyed is her trust in me.
- What would you do differently if you had your time again?
Be less vocal about frustrating things. Sense more when they want explanations and when not.