Ah, you want a Propeller [1]. Basically 64 really smart digital + A/D I/O pins driven by eight 32-bit I/O processors. Enough oomph to build an entire system out of. Quirky, loads of fun if you're into cycle-counting. Not cheap, though--$18 [edit: $13 Digikey] qty 1. :(
https://gregchadwick.co.uk/blog/playing-with-the-pico-pt4/