Here's my "30 second assessment" criteria, pretty much gets me the right people every time:
* Are they interested, or only interesting? Interested people rock. Interesting people are sad. You are really more interesting when you take an interest. If everyone is paying attention to you, you're soaking the life out of the room. Find out something new from the people whose attention you demand, by showing an earnest and honest interest.
* Do they let you finish your sentence? Interrupters have self-esteem issues. Patient listeners have the confidence needed to make social groups stronger. People are made stronger when they are listened to - they are made weaker when their sentences are interrupted. No matter how important you think you are: listen until the end of the sentence.
* Can they let you be wrong about something, until you are right about it? Know-best kills the fun, always. Encouragement and enlightenment, however, feeds the fun. If I'm incorrect, and you correct me in a way that I feel improved for the experience, then we are both correct and you are awesome. But if I'm incorrect and you tout some hierarchical advantage over being right as a priority over assistance, then you are right and I will try not to work too much more for/with you.
* Can they help? Can they be helped? You have to be able to accept help, as well as offer it, in equal balance with the universe. That balance is key.
* Do they control everything, or nothing? Control is a substance best applied judiciously. Does the person have the temerity to judge when good control is needed, or bad control needs to be refactored? This one is not as easy as it seems .. but when you find someone who can handle control, and use it in a good way - rather than be averse to it generally as a subject - that person is grounded.
* Are they interested, or only interesting? Interested people rock. Interesting people are sad. You are really more interesting when you take an interest. If everyone is paying attention to you, you're soaking the life out of the room. Find out something new from the people whose attention you demand, by showing an earnest and honest interest.
* Do they let you finish your sentence? Interrupters have self-esteem issues. Patient listeners have the confidence needed to make social groups stronger. People are made stronger when they are listened to - they are made weaker when their sentences are interrupted. No matter how important you think you are: listen until the end of the sentence.
* Can they let you be wrong about something, until you are right about it? Know-best kills the fun, always. Encouragement and enlightenment, however, feeds the fun. If I'm incorrect, and you correct me in a way that I feel improved for the experience, then we are both correct and you are awesome. But if I'm incorrect and you tout some hierarchical advantage over being right as a priority over assistance, then you are right and I will try not to work too much more for/with you.
* Can they help? Can they be helped? You have to be able to accept help, as well as offer it, in equal balance with the universe. That balance is key.
* Do they control everything, or nothing? Control is a substance best applied judiciously. Does the person have the temerity to judge when good control is needed, or bad control needs to be refactored? This one is not as easy as it seems .. but when you find someone who can handle control, and use it in a good way - rather than be averse to it generally as a subject - that person is grounded.