sigh... these "sound good" but in fact are probably hot garbage, and certainly lacking data.
- choice of spouse? people choose spouses (or don't choose: arranged marriages!) for all sorts of reasons that have NOTHING to do with how they'll interact with you. They may also be headed for divorce, and you wouldn't know.
- how they treat service workers? if you're a service worker then sure, but if you're a client you may have a completely different experience - in fact, it's classic for shitty clients to abuse good vendors, who then abuse shitty service workers, who kick their dogs and so on. I've been decent to people who get abused, and gotten decent results.
- early life? sure, I can buy this - but good luck if they don't share. Also, some people specifically fight against those early-life learnings while others embrace them. IMHO you gotta be careful with this one.
- how they invest time and money? sure I can buy this - assuming they have discretion and their time and money isn't pre-allocated... which it is for many people!!!
- "Identify what irritates people the most in others—because this is probably the trait they dislike most in themselves" - maybe ??? this feels like pop psychology, and I'd love to see real data.
- "Can they listen?" - ok, this is very good advice and easily "tested" in various ways. Of course, "good listener" may not result in good service - but bad listeners rarely give good service.
- "If they cheat at small things, they will cheat at big things." - assuming honesty is the default, then sure... but again, I'd really like to see data to back this up. In particular, I've met some sociopathic scoundrels who know this "game" and are scrupulously honest about small things, so they can run off with millions when it matters.
- "Watch how they handle unexpected problems" - this seems like good advice in general, and not just problems but unexpected and out-of-control situations. Some people freak out, others become control freaks, others get quiet and listen, others do research. Again, it depends on the relationship - some jobs it's fine to perform poorly under change, others it's part of the job!
> "- "Identify what irritates people the most in others—because this is probably the trait they dislike most in themselves" - maybe ??? this feels like pop psychology, and I'd love to see real data."
The things that irritate me the most are when I see people doing the kinds of things my father did (laissez faire, no support, expect me to be a replica).
Just a hunch–thousands have been laid off from their jobs recently, often through no fault of their own. Society tends to judge a person's character by things like "can they 'hold' a job". A person who has been unfairly judged would probably have a strong opinion on the validity of character tests.
- choice of spouse? people choose spouses (or don't choose: arranged marriages!) for all sorts of reasons that have NOTHING to do with how they'll interact with you. They may also be headed for divorce, and you wouldn't know.
- how they treat service workers? if you're a service worker then sure, but if you're a client you may have a completely different experience - in fact, it's classic for shitty clients to abuse good vendors, who then abuse shitty service workers, who kick their dogs and so on. I've been decent to people who get abused, and gotten decent results.
- early life? sure, I can buy this - but good luck if they don't share. Also, some people specifically fight against those early-life learnings while others embrace them. IMHO you gotta be careful with this one.
- how they invest time and money? sure I can buy this - assuming they have discretion and their time and money isn't pre-allocated... which it is for many people!!!
- "Identify what irritates people the most in others—because this is probably the trait they dislike most in themselves" - maybe ??? this feels like pop psychology, and I'd love to see real data.
- "Can they listen?" - ok, this is very good advice and easily "tested" in various ways. Of course, "good listener" may not result in good service - but bad listeners rarely give good service.
- "If they cheat at small things, they will cheat at big things." - assuming honesty is the default, then sure... but again, I'd really like to see data to back this up. In particular, I've met some sociopathic scoundrels who know this "game" and are scrupulously honest about small things, so they can run off with millions when it matters.
- "Watch how they handle unexpected problems" - this seems like good advice in general, and not just problems but unexpected and out-of-control situations. Some people freak out, others become control freaks, others get quiet and listen, others do research. Again, it depends on the relationship - some jobs it's fine to perform poorly under change, others it's part of the job!
hope this helps.