Where are you from? The reason I am asking that is I have noticed this behavior is seen as common in America, but if you go to e.g Scandinavia you will be seen as extremely rude. The perceived rudeness will come from the other people thinking that you are «taking all the space» and not giving other people the opportunity to talk. It is more common to take turns while speaking and self regulating, instead of people talking over each other and interrupting. I hope for your sake that when you are traveling you try to adjust to the social norms there instead of forcing your more space-taking style onto other people.
I am from Norway. I know all about the importance of perservering in the face of social pressure precisely because of that. I know who I am, and I know what makes me happy. Being "proper" is not that. I know full well this trait of mine is off-putting to people when they initially meet me, but trying to be someone I'm not makes both of us even more uncomfortable.
After I broke bad during childhood due to emotional neglect, my mother reacted by buying me things and letting me mostly do what I wanted with my days in order to shut me up, and so I did. I raised myself on the internet and I know it inside out. At 15 we moved, and I decided I was going to try to be a "real" adult from now on.
That was when the REAL problems started. Hell truly is other people. Attempting to contort yourself into some strange dependencies you're somehow "supposed" to have on other people, and attachments you never formed is unnatural and painful, both for you and your victim. Though I did my best to grin and bear it, I was never happy. Though I easily accomplished anything I set out to do on the "proper" path, it brought me no joy.
Today, I am a 26 year old engineer working in a truly innovative, economically sound startup, where I am well-respected and feel fully competent. It bores me to tears, and any attempts to force me into "standups" and "OKR"s makes me want to stand up and kms.
Being "socially succesful" is no longer a goal of mine, because it's just straight up boring. People who restrain themselves from speaking their mind bore me, and people who attempt to restrain me from speaking mine infuriate me.
If that philosophy means fewer people want to interact with me, I consider that a great success.
Fair enough. It seems to me that you have thought a lot about this and you are living true to the values that you have set for yourself. I don't personally feel the same way but I respect your decision in being true to yourself and as long as you're not hurting anyone else in the process who am I to judge?
You've got maybe a more exhuberant way of saying it, but I've got a similar outlook anymore. I've always been awkward and no good at fitting in with the "popular" crowd. I take some getting used to and people who don't know me misunderstand my intentions. I stopped trying to fit the imaginary mold where if I just speak this way and talk about these things, people will like me. I try to be a good person, I work hard, help people out, and if the way I look at you and the way I talk are so off-putting that you don't want anything to do with me, then it's your loss.
