If I just take a purely observational stance with no judgment, what jumps out to me as salient from what you just said is not your loneliness (many people are lonely). It's your attitude towards the purpose of socializing.
At least in your current mentality, it sounds like you're viewing socializing and other people as a means to an end (of not feeling bad). A more common view would be that people are (in some form, even if mostly "selfish" forms) the end rather than or in addition to the means.
I tend to agree with Alfred Adler's view that "all problems are interpersonal relationship problems" (e.g. I recommend this book https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43306206-the-courage-to-...). Socializing is so core to human existence that existence is meaningless without it (even as an introvert). So I hope you can find a way to cherish and be grateful of the positive aspects of relationships (and avoid or acccept the negative aspects), so that you can view relationships as bringing a form of joy in itself.
I guess your perspective implies also that it's a personality aspect of yours (e.g. "most people like hanging out with people but I just don't."). But I would push back against that view. I think everyone, even you and all introverts, are meant to find joy in social relationships. The world can be cruel sometimes, but there are always good things to be found if we are open, willing to take some risk, try not to take ourselves too seriously, but are also strategic and constantly learning and improving. Whatever has happened, think of it as a learning experience. You'll come out the other side as a better man than when you started. The past is past.
At least in your current mentality, it sounds like you're viewing socializing and other people as a means to an end (of not feeling bad). A more common view would be that people are (in some form, even if mostly "selfish" forms) the end rather than or in addition to the means.
I tend to agree with Alfred Adler's view that "all problems are interpersonal relationship problems" (e.g. I recommend this book https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43306206-the-courage-to-...). Socializing is so core to human existence that existence is meaningless without it (even as an introvert). So I hope you can find a way to cherish and be grateful of the positive aspects of relationships (and avoid or acccept the negative aspects), so that you can view relationships as bringing a form of joy in itself.
I guess your perspective implies also that it's a personality aspect of yours (e.g. "most people like hanging out with people but I just don't."). But I would push back against that view. I think everyone, even you and all introverts, are meant to find joy in social relationships. The world can be cruel sometimes, but there are always good things to be found if we are open, willing to take some risk, try not to take ourselves too seriously, but are also strategic and constantly learning and improving. Whatever has happened, think of it as a learning experience. You'll come out the other side as a better man than when you started. The past is past.