Perhaps instead of focusing your energy on loneliness it would be helpful to ignore it and focus instead on the things that you like and genuinely enjoy. Things that often leave you feeling better afterward than you did before you started. These things can be big or small. For me some examples are riding my bike, drinking a glass of cool water, planting seeds (more or less anything, but particularly tomatoes), walking around the neighborhood, cooking my brains in a sauna, going to the beach. If you can't think of any, then experiment. Check your status before and after each activity. Make sure to keep judgement relative and incremental. Things don't need to blow your mind. Even things that make you feel just marginally less shitty are a great place to start!
Try to focus on those things that "fill your bucket" whatever they are. Consciously spend more time engaging with those things, and spend less time on everything else. Cooking get you down? Stop. Playing chess perk you up? Play more chess... find new venues in which to play chess (or whatever, chess is not for me, just a theoretical example).
As you get better at filling your bucket, you will surely meet new people along the way. Do they fill your bucket? Engage more. Drain your bucket? Engage less.
The whole idea is a bit like Yoga... slowly and gently stretch your time-spent in happier directions.
Another thought... as you meet new people remember that a lot of them won't be a good fit for you for reasons that have 0% to do with you. Don't take it personally. If 1 in 20 new interactions is positive you are doing super fabulous! Stick to it. Those positive interactions will add up. Make sure you have time in your life to spend on them when the do happen. Having a good chat with the barista, be 5 minutes late to your morning meeting and let the people behind you enjoy the anticipation of their morning coffee for a bit longer.
Take your time, take it easy, and seek out fun... genuine fun for you, not what anyone else thinks is fun (a-doy!). People who are your kind of fun will be there when you arrive.
Perhaps instead of focusing your energy on loneliness it would be helpful to ignore it and focus instead on the things that you like and genuinely enjoy. Things that often leave you feeling better afterward than you did before you started. These things can be big or small. For me some examples are riding my bike, drinking a glass of cool water, planting seeds (more or less anything, but particularly tomatoes), walking around the neighborhood, cooking my brains in a sauna, going to the beach. If you can't think of any, then experiment. Check your status before and after each activity. Make sure to keep judgement relative and incremental. Things don't need to blow your mind. Even things that make you feel just marginally less shitty are a great place to start!
Try to focus on those things that "fill your bucket" whatever they are. Consciously spend more time engaging with those things, and spend less time on everything else. Cooking get you down? Stop. Playing chess perk you up? Play more chess... find new venues in which to play chess (or whatever, chess is not for me, just a theoretical example).
As you get better at filling your bucket, you will surely meet new people along the way. Do they fill your bucket? Engage more. Drain your bucket? Engage less.
The whole idea is a bit like Yoga... slowly and gently stretch your time-spent in happier directions.
Another thought... as you meet new people remember that a lot of them won't be a good fit for you for reasons that have 0% to do with you. Don't take it personally. If 1 in 20 new interactions is positive you are doing super fabulous! Stick to it. Those positive interactions will add up. Make sure you have time in your life to spend on them when the do happen. Having a good chat with the barista, be 5 minutes late to your morning meeting and let the people behind you enjoy the anticipation of their morning coffee for a bit longer.
Take your time, take it easy, and seek out fun... genuine fun for you, not what anyone else thinks is fun (a-doy!). People who are your kind of fun will be there when you arrive.