I usually lurk but I created an account just to respond to you.
Please find a therapist. Trust me. I don't know what your financial situation is, but it's really not that expensive... especially because you don't need to do it forever. Make sure that you find a therapist whose method fits your level of comfort. This is VERY important. I also highly recommend only doing in-person sessions (if you're comfortable with that, re: covid). It makes a big difference.
All of the other advice here is a shot in the dark. We simply don't know enough about you. Chance are you're not an angel (none of us are) and your strengths/weaknesses play a very big part in your life's outcome. Not to mention your upbringing, bad habits, good habits, state of health, financial situation, sexual drive, etc, etc.
Therapy is not like it is in the movies. It's a lot like having drinks with your friend and dishing about your life. Except your friend devotes 100% of their attention on you, has professional training, has a goal of finding the root cause of your problems, and does it for a fee.
I only went to therapy for 5 months and it changed my life. I'm in my mid-30s and rejected therapy for a long time because I thought it was for mentally ill people. Maybe that's technically true but if it is then we're all mentally ill to some extent.
Last thing I'll say is this...
Twice in my adult life I had my entire world view shaken to the core. It's a thing. And for a lot of people it needs to happen - they don't just gradually get better and figure things out. Often times a tragic event will trigger it but not always. When you hear stories of someone dropping everything and moving to Japan or something like that... yea it's that kind of thing.
It's possible (again, can't tell w/o details) that this kind of drastic change is what you need in your life. One great catalyst for that change is talking to a compassionate and intelligent professional. You'd be surprised at what you'll dig up.
Please find a therapist. Trust me. I don't know what your financial situation is, but it's really not that expensive... especially because you don't need to do it forever. Make sure that you find a therapist whose method fits your level of comfort. This is VERY important. I also highly recommend only doing in-person sessions (if you're comfortable with that, re: covid). It makes a big difference.
All of the other advice here is a shot in the dark. We simply don't know enough about you. Chance are you're not an angel (none of us are) and your strengths/weaknesses play a very big part in your life's outcome. Not to mention your upbringing, bad habits, good habits, state of health, financial situation, sexual drive, etc, etc.
Therapy is not like it is in the movies. It's a lot like having drinks with your friend and dishing about your life. Except your friend devotes 100% of their attention on you, has professional training, has a goal of finding the root cause of your problems, and does it for a fee.
I only went to therapy for 5 months and it changed my life. I'm in my mid-30s and rejected therapy for a long time because I thought it was for mentally ill people. Maybe that's technically true but if it is then we're all mentally ill to some extent.
Last thing I'll say is this...
Twice in my adult life I had my entire world view shaken to the core. It's a thing. And for a lot of people it needs to happen - they don't just gradually get better and figure things out. Often times a tragic event will trigger it but not always. When you hear stories of someone dropping everything and moving to Japan or something like that... yea it's that kind of thing.
It's possible (again, can't tell w/o details) that this kind of drastic change is what you need in your life. One great catalyst for that change is talking to a compassionate and intelligent professional. You'd be surprised at what you'll dig up.
Best of luck to you.