Thats a great point! I suppose I'm trying to avoid feeling like a pos for potentially feeling like I wasted my time if the social interaction didn't alleviate my loneliness. So i do have unhealthy expectations that need to be examined further. Thanks for point that out.
You’re welcome and I would also suggest digging into where those feelings you mentioned to me came from and why you’re protecting yourself from them (by avoiding socializing/telling yourself reasons not to socialize). Good luck out there! I hope you find peace.
I think as a child my mom often asked me if I had friends at school in this worried tone. I suppose I made a decision to hide parts of myself in order to have friends. And it worked for years, up until I got married and realized I've been lying to myself about who I am. I made a person that I thought other people would like. I'm finding that the real me is actually not only not appreciated but not tolerated, in my family and what was once my circle of friends. So, I find myself, first the first time in my life, trying to build relationships from an authentic place in my 30's.
I wonder if doing some activities that are authentic for you, and in a way that is authentic for you, would help meet similar people - as fellow-travellers, rather than focusing on "companionship" in itself. Could be favourable growing conditions for organic companionship. And some people like to be around people who are authentic and exercising self-determination.
i pay attention how my kids are doing with their friends, but i am not showing them how worried i am. if they have trouble with their friends or they want more friends then we talk about it and look for activities that provide opportunities for new friendships.
