I think whats happening here is that discourse that is created by online forum discussions ends up sounding hostile rather than productive. I have experienced this in remote only companies also. In previous generations of open source languages people communicated with email which at least made them think about their argument and rephrase it. Now however (also partly influenced by modern internet culture) people take an adversarial side and then just post it without rephrasing it in a way to sound respectful and constructive.

I do not see an obvious solution to this other the somewhat untenable goal of restricting discussions to email only.