It took me about 30 years of to figure out something: being happy is a choice. Just because I felt a twinge of fear, anger, sadness or loneliness didn't mean I had to choose to dwell on it. I could just shrug and go back to being happy. I could choose to do things that make me happy, instead of... whatever that thing I was "obliged" to do. After that realization, my life got a lot better.
I think for many of us (myself included), the dwelling feels familiar and safe. I had a hard childhood in some regards, and I learned that fear and doubt were safe bets. I spent many times being unbearably excited for things only to be disappointed, over and over, for so long.
It’s so strange to think that as an adult, I’m still that kid. I can rationalize past it, but I still recoil from life like a child.
Many of us do. We learn some things as kids and have a hard time letting go of it. Especially if it’s meant to protect us.
I have a hard time doing more than rationalizing. The act of letting go and carrying on with more positive or even neutral thoughts is actually a staggering task to accomplish at times.
Hopefully with practice I can get there. I’m realizing it’s important not only for me, but everyone around me. I’m not a black cloud or anything, but I could be a much better person to be around if I could overcome stuff like this. If anything, I’d just be more present and available. I tend to disappear when I’m unhappy - not many people have to experience it.
Yes that is true. There is a TED talk by Gen Nyema I watched a few years back which explains it quite well. It's such a simplistic fix that you feel it can't work and yet it does. It definitely a choice and you can choose to be happy in any situation if you have the emotional awareness for it.
