anecdotal: It's very revealing to be very depressed with occasional panic attacks. When depressed, while not necessarily wanting to die, I would simply not want to be. Yet, sometimes, a panic attack would sneak in and I would momentarily (15-60m) be terrified of dying and not being. After its passing, it would be straight back to being very depressed. It's an awful state of being but illuminating at how much brain state matters to perception. It's obvious, but experiencing it is jarring.

For the record, I'm doing very well now, thanks SSRIs...