I hate the term "jerk". It's really just not specific enough to categorize, or correct, bad behavior. I am always concerned about coming off as a narcissist or elitist.
I was turned down recently after a well-executed technical interview because the company was concerned that I might be a jerk, which is actually great feedback. They based this on a "vim-mode sucks" comment I left in the notes section of online editor they were using to conduct the technical round when it froze up. Whoops.
I’ve definitely been a jerk sometimes in the past, and it’s something I work on frequently with a psychiatrist. I’ve also worked for some very successful narcissists in the past, so I don’t have a lot of great examples to reference. And my socialization skills sometimes come off as stilted since one of my parents is on the spectrum. Emotionally it can be hard to tamp down on frustration, but I’ve gotten a lot better since I started seeing a psych a few years ago.
I really hope people can get back to treating each other like human beings rather than labels.
Let's play a game. Imagine you're s senior dev and interviewing another Dev today. They do well technically, but write comments in their codebase that critique your decisions (such as choice of tool, questions asked, framework used, etc). What's your thoughts on this person?
I'd not say jerk, but I would think they're not taking the process seriously. A technical test certainly isn't a place to make jokes as you don't know how they'll be perceived. Play it safe.
Anyway, your third paragraph ... It reads to me like you're passing blame on others rather than reflecting and acknowledging your choices. For example, " since one of my parents ...". No. _your_ social skills and decisions are yours. Likewise, you blame past narcissists you've worked for for not having good role models? You should know right from wrong, and making such comments during an interview is wrong.
I was turned down recently after a well-executed technical interview because the company was concerned that I might be a jerk, which is actually great feedback. They based this on a "vim-mode sucks" comment I left in the notes section of online editor they were using to conduct the technical round when it froze up. Whoops.
I’ve definitely been a jerk sometimes in the past, and it’s something I work on frequently with a psychiatrist. I’ve also worked for some very successful narcissists in the past, so I don’t have a lot of great examples to reference. And my socialization skills sometimes come off as stilted since one of my parents is on the spectrum. Emotionally it can be hard to tamp down on frustration, but I’ve gotten a lot better since I started seeing a psych a few years ago.
I really hope people can get back to treating each other like human beings rather than labels.