> it feels natural to me to explain first, reason about my actions and end with an apology
Apologies that start with an explanation are very often more of a personal justification (coping mechanism) than a real apology. It frames the conversation in a way so as to reduce the cognitive dissonance between your actions and the social norm you violated (reason for apology), as well as reducing the discomfort in the act of apology.
It also makes people think you are apologizing to appease, instead of expressing genuine regret.
Apologies that start with an explanation are very often more of a personal justification (coping mechanism) than a real apology. It frames the conversation in a way so as to reduce the cognitive dissonance between your actions and the social norm you violated (reason for apology), as well as reducing the discomfort in the act of apology.
It also makes people think you are apologizing to appease, instead of expressing genuine regret.