Oncall is somewhat unique, and that can be tough, but if it's particularly rough and there is nothing you can do to improve it that's a good sign to find another company (or perhaps another specialization within programming) because it doesn't need to be that way. Incident response is mostly a self-imposed stress, and I've found it to be something that you can learn to manage better and not let it affect you so much, by being prepared with good playbooks, as well as accepting that it's not the end of the world and that all you can do is try your best.
I'm not denying that life itself can be draining. Working any type of office job can be draining. I just don't see how programming is particularly more draining than all the other jobs people do.
Oncall is somewhat unique, and that can be tough, but if it's particularly rough and there is nothing you can do to improve it that's a good sign to find another company (or perhaps another specialization within programming) because it doesn't need to be that way. Incident response is mostly a self-imposed stress, and I've found it to be something that you can learn to manage better and not let it affect you so much, by being prepared with good playbooks, as well as accepting that it's not the end of the world and that all you can do is try your best.
I'm not denying that life itself can be draining. Working any type of office job can be draining. I just don't see how programming is particularly more draining than all the other jobs people do.