transaction fees would be too high, transactions would take too long, and the transactions would be public.

OnlyFans could be the exchange. You send their public wallet the crypto buying a “OF coin” stable coin or similar (gift card funds essentially), they handle the distribution internally.

Best practice would be for patrons and content producers to have dedicated wallets for OnlyFans transactions, to prevent data leakage from ledger analysis.

You still have to go through an on-ramp provider or OF does the on-ramp but then probably lots of reg headache. Plus I bet impulse buying is the way to activate OF users. One way to solve this can be to find an on-ramp solution w/ UX on par with card payments and then handle pay-in and pay-outs via Zcash or Monero or using Aztec protocol.

Or just use a private crypto like Monero

If the problem is scrutiny from investors, I don't think it's a viable solution to become a payment processor and therefore attract additional scrutiny from banking regulators.

OnlyFanBucks heh. Don't actually need crypto for that, but if it's better, then whatever.

Lightning fixes all that.

It’s not that special. Other adult sites and shadier stuff push crypto or only do crypto