Careful with this. IME, everything you feel gets expressed eventually. You either make some choices about that expression, or it leaks out of you - usually in toxic ways (passive aggression, overly controlling behavior, snipe-comments, etc.)
Have close friends (and a therapist!) that you can talk to about just about anything. A lot of times, feelings are signals for exploration; "here be learning", as it were.
Aubrey even names it, without realizing it (IMO) when he says "could treat [me] as an equal on every other level". I'm betting that if Aubrey had taken the time to feel and understand, he'd have realized that Deming (at that time) wasn't someone he could actually treat as an equal on every level. (And, probably, that he had a need for more people in his life that he could).
From reading his email to her, it's clear that he did realize this, but somehow he also thought he could get away with writing a suggestive email to her about his "adventurous love life" [sic]. (To be clear, referencing such things in a written work email would be regarded as grossly unprofessional no matter what the circumstances, but Laura being 17 and working for him at the time makes it quite outrageous.)
> To be clear, referencing such things in a written work email would be regarded as grossly unprofessional no matter what the circumstances, but Laura being 17 and working for him at the time makes it quite outrageous.
I dunno. Ill-advised, sure. Inappropriate, maybe. I've had all kinds of personal conversations with coworkers and bosses, there was never anything more to it. Yes, that she was 17 means he should have been more professional about it, but in and of itself, without knowing the contents of the email, I don't think its any more strange than perfectly normal but personal conversations I've had with people I've worked with.
Without seeing the email and the context around which it was sent, I don't think we can judge in either direction based off the existence of the email alone.
He confirms that he wrote an inadvised email. We still do not know the actual content or context around the email, so we don't know if it was malicious, abuse or simply somewhat inappropriate but otherwise malign.
We know she felt uncomfortable over it, but we do not know if he wrote it innocently-but-stupidly or if there is more to it.
Careful with this. IME, everything you feel gets expressed eventually. You either make some choices about that expression, or it leaks out of you - usually in toxic ways (passive aggression, overly controlling behavior, snipe-comments, etc.)
Have close friends (and a therapist!) that you can talk to about just about anything. A lot of times, feelings are signals for exploration; "here be learning", as it were.
Aubrey even names it, without realizing it (IMO) when he says "could treat [me] as an equal on every other level". I'm betting that if Aubrey had taken the time to feel and understand, he'd have realized that Deming (at that time) wasn't someone he could actually treat as an equal on every level. (And, probably, that he had a need for more people in his life that he could).