Lots of playing on the floor, going to the park, cooking, and that sort of thing.

It's a reasonably good life though I sometimes envy you single, childless guys for the enormous number of hours you get for yourselves. You think you know. But you really have no idea just how much time you have right now. Enjoy it

So from that perspective here's my advice. Do all the stuff you can't do when you have kids. Have lots of sex. Go on spur-of-the-moment day trips. Stay up late and sleep all day. Take flying lessons, or dancing lessons,or whatever. Seriously work towards ticking off items on your bucket list. Don't just sit around though because as soon as you have kids your combined disposable income, free time, and social flexibility shrink to a thousandth of a percent of what you have now (that's only a small exaggeration

Boy, there's a self-defeating setup if I ever saw one. <g>

As for what I do - yesterday was Stir-Fry & Starcraft, a home-cooked meal at friends' house followed by like 10 games of Starcraft. Tomorrow I'm seeing Harry Potter with a couple friends. Last week was dinner & Super 8, along with more Starcraft. The weekend before was a party at the Rainbow Mansion and July 4 fireworks. The weekend before that was some off-roading with a friend and his Jeep and a lunch date with a girl off OKCupid. Somewhere in there was a kayaking trip as well. Various other first dates have also been had in the weekdays between them too.

Edit: Okay, I just did a couple code reviews for work an hour ago. I swear, it's not my whole weekend!

Keep training jiu jitsu, maintain social relationships, chase girls (or boys or whatever) and make sure you allocate time to keeping yourself healthy - physically, mentally and emotionally. For most people that means a social network (not the facebook kind) to keep you grounded.

Otherwise, pick a hobby, preferably one that is social but where you won't be tempted to spend escalating time on it. Sports league, dance, improv, whatever.

Time off? What's that?

How do you achieve that work-life balance?

I'm working on a startup, I don't have time for work-life balance.

What do I do on the weekend? Well, I get off of my dayjob around 5:00pm on Friday, I drive home, swinging by the grocery store to stock up on coffee, sugar, cream, sodas, etc., then settle into my favorite chair with my laptop and start coding... continuing until around 6:00am or so, on Sat. morning. Sleep until 1 or so, get up, work another couple of hours, then take a brief break by going to Barnes & Noble for a latte or something and to browse books for a while, maybe sit in the cafe and read for a while. Then I come back home, and start working again. That goes on until 3-4 or so on Sun. morning. Sunday I usually get up around noon, work another hour or two, then do laundry, and the last few hours of the day before going back to bed, I either work, or -when I'm feeling burned out and needing of a break- watch a movie or something.

Yeah, it may not work out and - worst case - all this hard work goes for naught. But I turned 38 today, I'm not getting any younger, and if I intend to live out some of my dreams, it's time to make it happen.

This isn't your standard answer, but I figure I'd give you a perspective from someone on the outside wanting to get on.

I've found Jaimie Mantzel's videos about roadbuilding to be a good explanation of what I mean: http://jamius.com/Road.html

I think he is going slowly crazy. Or more comfortable with the camera. Though are those all that different, really? Great entertainment, either way :)

There's nothing wrong with reading a book on compilers or thinking about your startup's marketing campaign, but I think it starts to become wrong when that's all you do. Being single isn't necessarily a bad thing either. I mean, it isn't the greatest thing all the time, but that all depends on how you're looking at it.

Anyway, if you think it's fun to just sit around and read then by all means do that. Don't think you have to do something else. By the looks of it though, you don't think it's fun. It seems like you're forcing yourself to think it's fun because everything else seems scary or too difficult to do. Don't just work all day everyday. You'll just burnout and be worse off then you are now.

When I can't manage that kind of commitment, or I need solitary time, I read a lot of fiction and play with the cats. I also have some hobbies with low time commitments or at least a lot of flexibility: robotics, learning about science outside my own field, brewing beer. Occasionally I'll do something related to my current field (HPC), but even then I have a strict no-real-work rule: the only work that gets done on weekends, barring emergencies, is on side projects.

I learned to do this after grad school, during which I focused on my work 100%... and then experienced a period of burnout so intense I could not imagine ever being happy again. I know a few of people who seem happy, or at least satisfied, in a cycle of 100% for a year or two, followed by 4-6 months of burnout, then back to work. But my burnout was accompanied by depression, continuous feelings of failure and shame, and a deep lack of interest in anything in the world. No amount of productivity is worth my sanity: I need my work-life balance.

I always joke that I'd do 80% of my job for free (as long as the people I'm joking with don't work for the company that employs me).

I liken it to architecture/building: The day job is designing and overseeing a great McMansion. In the end, it's pretty nice, but a lot of the time is tied up in passing inspections. On the weekend, my kids (...and me) have the most amazing tree-house ever imagined.

Some time walking someplace on Saturday (usually a restaurant).

Watch some stupid something or try a cheap steam game or play a wii dance thing.

Read a novel/part of a novel.

Sleep in a lot.

Take a trip with the wife to a cuban sandwich shop

Improve some part of my condo.

Before kids, I used to go hang out at a bookstore for a couple hours and read whatever I found interesting, go for long off-road bike rides, volunteer for fund-raising walks/bike rides, volunteer with the Red Cross, hang out with friends from a ham radio club or college, etc.

If you can't reconnect with friends, just make new ones. Try meetup.com, look for tweetups or barcamps, go to user group meetings, join clubs (ham radio, model railroads / rockets, LEGO, cycling, etc.), take a class (cake decorating, painting, etc.), volunteer somewhere, go check out events at local bookstores / libraries, etc.

If the weather is bad I play with things like Arduino and toy around with new languages.

Also, coffee shops with friends, sometimes dance clubs if a good DJ is in town.

For me, the weekend is different primarily in that I get less email from clients and partners. This can be an advantage in that it enables me to have more uninterrupted work sessions. Of course, many of my friends do work traditional work weeks, so I often make time on the weekend to do things with them – dinners, dates, hikes, etc. The weekend is also a better time for me to make my international flights, as it minimizes the impact to my availability during the workweek.

My past 'obsessions' (as she calls them) have included DJing 3-4 nights per week, producing Disco music, playing world of warcraft, and doing kickboxing/jujitsu.

In short, do what you feel passionate about whether it's work-related or not. If you feel like you should be spending time with your friends, go for it! If you feel like doing startup stuff, do that.

As long as it's what fuels you, work-related stuff is not a bad thing.

I realize this isn't directly relevant since you're currently single, but... I spend time with my wife and son. In your case, try to reconnect with close friends you've lost touch with, call your dad/mom/brother/sister etc...

Another idea is to get outside, do some walking/hiking/cycling/swimming... This can be a bit of a beast during the hot summer months depending on your location; it's usually cool in the mornings pretty much anywhere though.

It's hard to re-learn relaxation but it's a worthwhile endeavor!

Dancing provides the physical activity you terribly need as a knowledge worker, while doing something fun. I've also come to experience that it also effortlessly generates a social life for you which can expand to as much time as you'd prefer to allocate to it.

Here's my take on it: we're all dying. You get a very limited amount of time to spend in the best amusement park ever. Once it's gone your done. So try and have some fun along the way.

When I'm not working I'm thinking about programming. Or I'm climbing a mountain. Camping. Running. Spending time with my wife. Painting. Playing my guitar. Climbing trees. Occasionally I'm out at the bar with friends.

I prefer to be alone most of the time. It's where I get my energy from. Ultimately you just have to discover what works for you.

Lately I've found myself walking a lot around my neighborhood and riding my motorcycle to help clear my mind.

Reading this back to myself... it sounds boring, but I love what I'm working on and feel a pressure to get it out into the world so it doesn't feel boring.

I recommend finding a group for something unrelated to your work but that you are still passionate about or at least find interesting. For me it's geeking out about movies and eating morning Dim Sum.

It's also nice that it "pops the bubble" a bit and reminds you that other people may not interact quite like you do at work. People still poke fun at me when I say I'll "ping" them about next sunday.

Can you cook? If not, learn. Cook new stuff and invite neighbors over for dinner and get to know them.

If you're reading the compiler book because you love to do that, I don't see the problem. Free time is for doing anything you want to, as opposed to things you need to because of obligations. If you love thinking about startups, do that. Work-life balance only needs to be considered when you feel like all you do is work.

EDIT: If there are any HN'ers in Sydney that want to partake in these activities, email me.

I have tried a month ago dating, but that didn't work out and I gave up too quickly. I'd be interested to know if anyone has a solution for that.

Very few people have the kind of personality that allows them to naturally develop friendships with the type of people they prefer to be around. Given that, it's basically up to you to find activities/work/etc that puts you in "social proximity" with the kind of people you want to have in your life.

Physical activities are good, they keep you busy and your mind sharp. I have personally tried to establish a resolve to work myself to pieces on weekends in some form of activity or another, and it's been paying off.

Instead I spent the afternoon in the basement machining a piston and cylinder for a steam engine I will finish... eventually.

Should have worked on the Xterra instead!

The great thing is that they are all very social (and very different from work) but you don't need friends to do them with, you just show up and enjoy them with whoever is there.

Seriously. I sleep.

Sometimes I combine all three in the reverse order.