I was incredibly lucky. I got to a point where I felt like I wanted to stop (which happens often to a lot of addicts), which coincided with an opportunity to move far away from my hometown, and then also coincidentally found myself surrounded by a fantastic support system. It’s the addict equivalent of flipping a quarter 50 times and having them all come up head.
As for a general answer to your question, there isn’t one that I’m aware of. Everyone I know that’s gotten clean has wildly different stories.
I found myself in a very accepting friend group of people that didn’t use drugs and (for my situation this was key) didn’t know where to get them.
Aside from that, there was no shaming and very little drama. Essentially, my previous situation was that I was surrounded by extremely abusive family and dangerously messed up friends. I more or less made friends with “normal” people, got away from a really bad situation and it all just sort of… worked out.
There’s absolutely no secret sauce or trick in my getting clean. I can’t count the number of my old friends that tried stuff like I did and it didn’t work out.
I don’t know exactly because I managed 0 possible access for a long time, so temptation was low.
About a year after I quit, I made a new friend. He was a nice guy, seemed normal, but one day he casually mentioned that he occasionally used stimulants including amphetamines. I cut off all contact with him immediately (as did all of my close friends. It’s a good example of support in this case.)
I guess I was able to recognize and decisively take action to avoid temptation about a year in. This was likely also luck. I was in a pretty good place with my life in general, had that occurred six months earlier or six months later it could have had a different outcome.
So the answer is either a day or a year or never. It’s been ten years and I’ve only known where to get meth for about one day of it. I still get cravings to this day, I’m just no longer in the habit of indulging them.
I feel bad for the guy who got ostracized by you and your entire friend group because he occasionally did speed and admitted to it. I understand your situation but I also think at some point you need to be able to stand on your own two feet without taking such drastic measures. Strength is both being able to walk away and then to say no in the face of temptation.
I say this as someone who abused drugs when I was younger and came from an extremely abusive family environment.
I think people need to do what they need to do to survive, and if that means not being friends with someone, that other person will have to get by with other friends.
That’s a great point of view and in retrospect, so do I. It wasn’t a great thing to do and I’d probably had a more humane way of eliminating a friend. I just did what I could at the time.
I don't feel bad for the guy. The last thing a recovering addict needs is a source for drugs and that's what he is.
Addicts can't just stop and never do drugs again like a normal person. If it's there, they'll take it. It's not about strength and being able to walk away. It never goes away for an addict and the best they can do is avoid situations where drugs will be presented. Isolation from users is the best course of action.
Also, many people abuse drugs and even become addicted, but are not addicts. An addict is wired differently.
Cutting out toxic influences is generally a good thing for most people. In OP's case, temptation of drug use and the risk of backsliding was too much, so yes, important and excellent that they cut out that person.
I think the main criticism in GP was that the friend's group also cut ties, not just the person being put "at risk" by such a friendship.
Also, "toxic influence" makes it seem like the friend was, by themself, toxic, while it looks rather than this was a "dangerous relation" (big difference imo).
There are two methods I know of. Either you stop doing the thing, or you do other things instead.
The first requires a presence of mind to enter the void left behind by the thing, that people doing drugs probably lack, since they are, in essence, stimulation addicts. Drugs fill a void they avoid facing. Stopping doing drugs would cause them to face that void.
The second is more amenable, because you can taper off with replacement therapy. Switch to using less bad drugs, or indeed anything stimulating. Continuously replace the thing you're getting stimulation from with another, slightly less stimulating thing, until the thing that is left is sufficiently nonstimulating that stopping and accepting the void feels manageable.
I went from putting speed in my morning coffee to eating a pound of chocolate a day.
The primary effect of amphetamines (that matters) is VMAT inhibition. While lots of drugs hit lots of receptors, and there are lots of overlap because of this, this does not make different compounds equivalent.
For example, off the top of my head, mescaline is also in the phenylethylamine family but is a wildly different drug with different receptor bonding affinity and subjective effects. I doubt anyone would want to mix up the two.
A strong desire to quit and a big support network (family, friends, recovery centers, etc). We tend to look down on addicts, when in fact, we probably should be looking to help. And the more help there is, the better chance someone will have quitting/recovery. Support also means real support, not a parent there because they have to and so they have disgust on their face, nope nope nope, that can make things worse.
I have a friend who's an addict and he's becoming impossible to talk to. Not about drugs, just about anything. He doesn't want any help, and he starts to live in his own reality. When we meet in a group of friends he doesn't listen to anyone. He can talk non-stop for hours until everybody around is tired from his gibberish. But he doesn't listen to anyone in a sense that feels very selfish. For example, when someone is telling an interesting story, he won't listen and he would make dumb offending jokes.
It feels like drugs made him dumb and also he is living in some kind of parallel reality. It's becoming harder and harder to connect.
Also, in his reality it's perfectly ok to consume drugs, he's also constantly offering to share the experience with all people he meets.
It's sad situation and looks desperate because he's aggressively against any help, he consider himself better than others because of the drugs (he is sure they allow him to "see" more than we see), and he doesn't listen to anyone.
I know he's not right. From experience and from looking at him.
Also, he's unable to function in the society. He's becoming obnoxious, so all his friends and even relatives are starting to avoid him.
He doesn't look healthy, he doesn't look happy, and I know he is unable to achieve any of his goals (the goals I've heard from him that he wants to achieve).
Tough call. Everything you described matches 1:1 with a friend who couldn’t deal with the stress of college and started to flare out with schizophrenia. Drugs came soon after, but the verbosity, obnoxiousness and grandiose ideas came first, coupled with execution incoherent enough to look nonexistent.
I had friends, housing, food, a stable day to day routine and _nobody_ looked down on me for my problems. I was able to talk openly about what I was going through and the circumstances that led to my addiction in the first place.
Normally (at least as Americans) we think of addicts as getting all of those things in rehab facilities and getting “fixed” by that few weeks or months. I’ve been in rehabs and mental hospitals and genuinely gotten some necessary help from them, but in my case I only started getting really better after I found myself in a situation where I had all of that support without feeling like it had an expiration date.
Psychological drug addiction feels a lot like food addiction - if you've ever dieted then thought about how amazing it would be to order pizza, you've experienced the same thing (though ofc to a far lesser magnitude)
You stop doing drugs the same way you stop eating badly, by trying to find substitutes, and by putting distance between you and it (i.e. if I don't want to eat snacks, I avoid buying it at the store, so it's more work for me to eat poorly)
How does someone stop doing drugs?